Aren't well-meaning friends great? They want to heal you when you're sick and share in the laughter when life is going along without a hitch. During my recent fiasco, a well-meaning friend brought me a gift.  What a lovely person Shirley is...vibrant, young at heart and full of the same piss and vinegar I am. Shirley had scored some hemp powder at a local health food store for me because it's supposed to help heal the body when mixed with food or drinks. My first thought was to purchase some yogurt and make some conglomeration out of it, but purchasing said yogurt was a bit more difficult than what I had expected and will most likely become the topic for a rant in the future. 

So after storing this hemp powder in the refrigerator like the container specifies, I decided to open it up and at least have a look-see at what I would be ingesting.  Upon breaking the seal and unscrewing the cover, I gazed upon what looked like dirt.  I sniffed and sniffed the earthy aroma of the contents detecting a faint lingering odor I couldn't quite put my finger on at the time. That made me only more determined to dig through the recesses of my mind for a memory that would reveal what the powder smells like.  I then tasted it and it tasted exactly like I had expected it to.  I was eating mystery matter that was labeled to be organic, vegan, kosher, gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free and contains no soy.  I formulated that the contents was something anyone in the world could eat, but the deeper question seemed to be would anyone really want to actually eat it.  Well, these days I'm up for trying anything, so please expect a detailed report as soon as I actually make some concoction and eat/drink it.

Since I was hell-bent on figuring out what that smell was, each person who entered my home was immediately instructed to sniff the contents and then dip their finger in the container to extract enough powder to taste the hemp.  Believe it or not, people have been asked to do stranger things while visiting me! It was quite like watching someone dipping snuff with the exception of there was no spitting involved. Various faces were made and comments about the bouquet were offered, but nothing jogged my memory.  What was that smell? And then it hit me...it smelled like old hippie feet (no one please ask me how I know what they smell like) with the ever so slightly aroma of cow manure.  Try imagining that this powder is supposed to be mixed in any fluid of choice (tequila?) to make a “delicious smoothie” as advertised or baked in things like brownies???? Wait a minute it's not that kind of hemp... Nonetheless, thanks Shirley and please be expecting a “smoothie” party just as soon as I’m up for one.