One morning a few days ago, The Lex and Terry Morning Show made me start thinking about sex and what part it plays in our intimate relationships, especially when two people are married. A caller had brought up the subject because her husband had allowed her to fulfill her fantasy by bringing another woman in for a threesome. Now, the husband thought it was time to fulfill his fantasy of being able to watch his wife have sex with a couple other men while he remains a non-participant. She felt uncomfortable about being “the center of attention“, but Lex and Terry felt it was only right to grant her husband the same pleasure that she had.

I've known many couples who have had open relationships and always wondered how they transcended the jealousy aspect and didn't look at sex outside their relationship as cheating. The movie, Indecent Proposal came to mind and I wondered how true to life that scenario would be if any of us were faced wih an indecent proposal. Lex and Terry brought up the fact that most men have the ability to look at sex as just that. They claimed that men can love their wives, yet can see a hot chick and want to do her.  Sex with another woman could be a purely physical act with no remorse or guilt involved.  I totally understood his point and although monogamy is supposed to be the name of the game, what happens when two open-minded people, two like spirits happen to get together? Does monogamy take the place of the sexually freedom they once had because they are now "married" or do they make their own rules? I wonder how many people have happy, successful, lasting relationships who continue to explore sex outside the marriage.

Most of us have our fantasies, but how many of the people who do have fantasies actually approach their mate with that fantasy or is it kept tucked away in the dark recesses of our minds to be pulled out for times of self-pleasure? How many people actually even discuss sex with their mate? I don't mean "oh honey, you're the best" type of stuff, but really discuss it. What happens when a man can't perform anymore? Does he hide the fact as long as he can by making his wife/mate feel like he no longer is interested? Does he say "Houston, we have a problem" or does he simply crash and burn?

I feel sorry for the pressure that is put on men to perform and to perform well. I think if sex was looked at as being fun and meant to bring us pleasure, people would be more inclined to openly discuss it. If we couldn't eat or sleep or go to the bathroom, we'd seek out medical help in a hurry, but when it comes to sexual dysfunction, most people hide it for as long as they can. This goes doubly for all the women who have never had an orgasm. I've often wondered how many women have remained silent during their sexual encounters and have just let their partner assume he satisfied them. I wonder how many women would actually say "hey sweetheart, you aren't quite done yet". I know many men claim that they have a "ladies first" policy when it comes to sex, but how hard would they really keep trying if they had someone frigid? Would they stick with the person or would they seek relief elsewhere and eventually leave that person altogether?

I wonder how many will leave their honest feelings regarding sex without the fear of being criticized. Come on all you HPOA's (Hot Piece Of Ass, pronounced "hip-po-a"), saucy tarts and love machines, let me hear what you have to say!