We are taught from a very young age to revere physical beauty.  It isn't until we get much older that we figure out it's inner beauty that matters most. That interim time we spend soothing our eyes with what we consider aesthetically pleasing is often times accompanied by mending our broken hearts.  For most of us, those wasted days we’ve spent with "eye candy" pales in comparison to the real thing. I think it's a travesty that people are coerced by society into developing meaningless preferences for their most intimate relationships based upon what a person looks like and not what type of character they have. 

We overlook anything that may have depth just to possess beauty for a fleeting moment. We’re so hoodwinked into believing that outer beauty is the important thing. We’re not told that physical beauty wanes with age and then in hindsight during some brief moment of clarity, we suddenly get it. Aging no longer seems scary when vanity is put into its proper perspective. Gray hair and wrinkles no longer are dreaded.  Some people wear them well and like a fine wine, they become better with age.

Many people alter their appearance thinking that a youthful appearance might grant them the key to happiness by cheating the aging process when in reality all it does is buy their plastic surgeon's a Porsche and helps put his children through college.  So why does aging scare people? Why do we feel less desirable? When we turn 50 is it really necessary to look 30 in order to feel the happiness we so desperately seek?

Vanity is such a powerful force that rules supreme from our early years right up until the time we realize vanity is a waste of time. Physical beauty is so subjective and filled with individual preferences.  If asked to name the three most beautiful women in the world and the three most handsome men, the list would vary from person to person.  What we might find out by comparing lists is how we differ in our definition of physical beauty.

No wonder so many teens develop eating disorders and remain confused and unsatified with their appearance for years. When beauty is defined in terms of the picture below, what we strive for is not only unhealthy, but is a hideous facade as well.  The picture is from a recent runway show featuring clothes most of us couldn't wear because we have too much meat on our bones thus making us ugly by society’s standards. Yes, physical beauty is governed by our preferences. What looks hot to one person might make someone else run away in search of a paper bag and a Phenergan suppository.  After looking at this picture, it makes me thankful vanity has passed me by and the only use I want a paper bag for is to cover this successful lost soul until she gains alittle weight.

I often wonder how much actual thought goes into who a person decides is the right candidate to represent the American people on any level or if it's just another popularity contest. Is it true that we vote for whom we think looks best, speaks best or has the best looking spouse? No, that can’t be so! What would that say about the American public? Surely, each of us takes the time to really scrutinize each candidate, so as we make our final selection, we do so armed with as many facts as we could find. Surely, we don’t discount a person based on age, physical appearance, religion, race, sex or political affiliation.  Surely, each of us listens carefully to what each candidate says and then weighs it against our own beliefs.

I realize there are many sides to any issue and all sides claim to be right, just and moral, but in reality, those concepts are as abstract and subjective as the political arena itself.  What I would like to see during this political bloodletting season is for people to strive to dig deeper into the issues and see where actual changes are needed most and what impact those changes will have on our country not only now, but in the future. We also have to search to find who's most likely to implement those changes instead of paying attention to all the negativity being tossed around in order to win votes.

Childhood is where people learn appropriate playground behavior, yet the political arena seems to cast fair play to the wind.  Maybe each candidate needs “mom” to step in and scold them for their bad behavior. What I pay close attention to as the bloodletting begins is how each candidate reacts to being attacked by both their opposition and by others in their own party. I always ask myself questions like: Do they welcome confrontation hoping that it gives the public a rare glimpse inside their persona? Or do they hang in the shadows trying desperately to avoid any type of confrontation so they won’t have to take an actual stand on anything? Do they condone “exposing” their opponents by using various mudslinging tactics? Or do they try to stick to the facts and to the issues? Do they lie down and simply take the attack by turning the other cheek? Or do they use confrontation as a way to bring attention to the key points to their own platform?

Instead of mudslinging which runs rampant during any campaign, the candidates might be better served by revealing a side that people rarely see by staying focused on their platform and issues thus showing people what really matters most to them as a leader and as a citizen of the United States. I realize that this isn't likely to happen because we, the voters seem to encourage that type of negative behavior by historically voting for the person who carries the biggest stick and who is most adept at mudslinging and verbally bashing their opponents.  Only during a presidential race is making a mistake looked at as a sign of weakness instead of being a sign of strength in character and as a sign of being human. 

Regardless of what stations in life anyone holds, we all make mistakes because each person on this earth is human.  Only during a political campaign is the admission of making a mistake viewed as a sign of waffling and weakness instead of a sign of true character.  A wise man or woman learns from their mistakes and readily admits when making one, but a presidential candidate views any mistake as an opportunity to not only slay their opponent for being human, but to divert the focus from the issues. All this straying from the task at hand and the inability to stay focused on the important stuff makes me wonder if all politicians aren't ADD or ADHD! What I would like to see happen from now until the election in November 2008 is for people to keep an open mind and not to quickly judge anyone as being the best person for the job.  What I would like to see is for us, the voters make the candidates work hard for our votes.  Can that happen? I think everyone knows the answer to that question and it's up to us to make it happen our way.  

Many things around MSN Spaces have changed since its birth. People come and go, but they aren't forgotten...at least not by the people who were impacted by their words. I think back to Hayden who called "Paradise Cove" his home. People loved him, yet when it was time for him to leave everyone wished him well and hoped he'd be back from time to time with his playful banter. Bill from "Crackers In Bed" is another well-loved blogger who called it quits not long ago. He retired from blogging so he could focus all his time and energy on recovering from cancer. Anyone who read Crackers In Bed, even occasionally, knows Bill is a gentle soul who always had the knack for sharing his special Irish tea brand of wisdom and humor with his readers. His words are missed and each time I see anything pertaining to tea I always think of him and wonder how he's doing.

Others come...go and come back again and again. Many have found other places to blog and have ventured on past Spaces. Psychedelic Pariah is one of the more colorful bloggers who people seemed to either love to hate or to emulate for his bold, brash interaction with others and for topics which left his readers wondering whether his words were fact or fantasy. If nothing else, people would have to agree that his blog had a flair for the drama. I often hoped the real Psychedelic Pariah to step forward, but knew if the truth were revealed, it would take all the appeal and mystique out of his words.

Many people have read Jnuts (I guess I'm the only person who calls him that name now) of "Passing Open Windows" fame. The people who truly appreciate Jockfullonuts are the ones who see the limitless creativity and talent this man possesses. They see a man who isn't afraid to speak his mind about any subject and his true colors shine brightly through his great love of felines... Those who have never visited him, should do so before he removes his blog from MSN Spaces. Trust me, his words will reach places in you that have remained untouched for years. I can think of no better way to reawaken than with the words painted by a true artist.

As I reflect deeper and inspect my own journey through the blogosphere, I come to a crossroads. My ego would like to think I won all the battles I’ve so gallantly fought. Yet, now all those "wins" don't seem like anything more than misguided attempts to win a war that wasn't meant to be won or even fought. What I have discovered through blogging is that there is always going to be someone who disagrees with what you write. There are always going to be those people who think they know you better than you know yourself. Those people come in varying shades of confrontational. 

Not long ago a fellow blogger left me a comment on one of my other blogs about the lack of unity that Spaces has.  I had written an entry titled, "The Many Faces Of MSN Spaces" and as a result I think she and I came to an understandng which probably never would have occurred here on Spaces. Perhaps her words were the turning point:

"People ran out of words, interest, steam, time, whatever and there hasn't been that feeling of unity for quite a while."

Her words made me wonder where it had gone and then I realized the unity dissipated as each battle had been fought. People like me are responsible for that lack of unity, yet at this point I wonder if anything can be done to heal the abyss that exists. I know I can't turn back the hands of time and choose an alternate way of handling anything. I once wrote and believed that each of us can exercise our freedom of speech, yet felt it was unnecessary to attack a person’s character in order to disagree with what they wrote. I feel I sold out by getting to the point of deleting any words I felt were written to offend or annoy me. Looking back, it was my place not to delete, but to uphold how I really feel about the freedom of speech. It was my place to turn the other cheek and to take that real step in practicing what I preach. I believe it is within our power to come together, not as bloggers, but as people with many different beliefs who have a need to express those beliefs for all to read.

I believe that it takes a truly strong person to walk away from a fight and not be the first to cast a stone in retaliation. I believe peace can exist and peace starts within each of us by first recognizing that all people are different and each person has a right to their own set of beliefs. The age-old question of what should be done with people who perpetrate violence even when that violence is only aimed at the emotions is a perplexing one. Do we strike back with equal or greater force? Or does passive resistance work? Does human nature dictate that we are warmongers and not only enjoy the victory but the battle as well? Or can mankind coexist in a peaceful state?

All I know is that the times I have done battle in my life and have won the battle, the victory never tasted as sweet as I thought it would. In the aftermath, when the smoke cleared I knew I had taken one more step away from achieving those things I truly want in my life. Violence, hatred and prejudice are costly commodities. On a grand scale, they rob us of economic and physical security and strip us of all positive human emotions towards our fellow man. Here in Spaces, on a much smaller scale it has caused disharmony and divisions where there should have been none. Our common ground and foundation as bloggers is our right to express ourselves through written words. We need not agree with what each other writes, but we should always respect and stand up for each other’s freedom of speech.

Once again, hindsight is 20/20!

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is,

INFINITE..."

I know there is more to this magnificent quote by William Blake. I omitted the rest of it on purpose because these words alone are so powerful and worthy of any person's attention. As I dwell on them, I find myself drawn in by layers until I find myself trapped in a catacomb of thought swirling around the meaning of perception and infinity.

I once sat on a stoop in Boston late at night philosophizing with a kindred spirit. We chatted about reality and I decided then, reality is whatever anyone perceives it to be. As I dwelled on my epiphany suddenly from every direction firetrucks converged on the stillness of our moment shattering my train of thought and redirecting my attention towards a building burning just down the street.

As I sat in amazement, all I could say was "is that real?" And at that moment I didn't really know the answer to that. And just as I always claim “opinions vary”, so does reality!

I awoke last night cradled in peace. No, I wasn't dreaming! The stillness of my bedroom created a serene ambience. Although I was still sleepy, I fought the urge to drift back into slumber. I wanted to savor the moment and use it to reflect on the things in life that have brought me the most happiness and pleasure. Some things have touched me briefly, yet intensely while others have become as familiar as the air I breathe.

I've been blessed by having three wonderful children. There were times in my life many years ago when they were the only reason I went on...in them, I found the strength to forge ahead and to believe the hard times would pass and better days were ahead. I believe my struggle, in part, helped show them that giving up was not an option and that with perseverance and patience anything is possible.

Romantic love has graced my life, yet unfortunately it's never been a lasting type of love. A smoldering warmth ignited by certain faded memories whispers to me making me realize the qualities I need and want in a partner are ones that transcend just having great sex. Wit, creativity and intelligence are definitely as pleasurable to me as a great physical relationship. In fact, I would go as far as to say that without those qualities any sex would be rather humdrum.

I have enjoyed long, gratifying friendships with people from all walks of life. I have to admit that many of them have helped broaden my horizons by introducing me to cultural, religious and political diversity. When I close my eyes, I can hear their infectious laughter and see smiles that could light up a room.

I feel thankful that I've experienced the true beauty of a magnificent sunrise and sunset, the sound of a child's laughter, the smell of lilacs in the spring and the feel of crisp autumn air. I've had the good fortune to learn the difference between "hearing" and "listening" and know breathtaking music can truly define a moment. I appreciate the depth of well-written words and admire those who can communicate and share themselves with others through that medium. I applaud the talent it takes to capture a certain ordinary visual essence with color and form and transform it into a masterpiece.

Life is filled with so many awe-inspiring things, yet many people don't take the time to "stop and smell the roses".  For them, life is a rat race filled with stress and deadlines. They wear blinders so their vision of the world is narrow. They are cynical, pessimistic and materialistic. Often a person's worth is measured by the socioeconomic class in which they belong or by their physical beauty. They never experience the shear joy of feeling the sun on their face or the wind in their hair.  Simple things seem boring and  unworthy of merit. Phrases like "the best things in life are free" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" baffle these people.  Each step along their journey is carefully measured and focused towards a well planned goal. Deviations are not allowed. So as I soaked in the stillness that surrounded me, I silently smiled knowing that better days will come, love will greet me once again and all the things that have brought me joy throughout my life will remain with me until the day I die.

Many people have given me gifts throughout my life, but the ones I treasure most and consider priceless are the ones given straight from the heart. Today, a dear friend sent me a small piece of Maine. I can’t begin to express my surprise and delight when I opened the long cardboard cylinder to find a bundle of pussy willows inside. I'm sure most people know what pussy willows are, but for those who don't know, I'd like to post a brief synopsis describing their aesthetic charm and medicinal value.

Pussy willows are shrubs that grow in the wetlands of Canada and the Northern United States. The terminology "pussy willow" is derived from the soft, grayish white, furry buds that open along the long, thin, dark brown branches before turning into golden yellow stamens heavily laden with pollen. Pussy willow lovers can enjoy their unique botanical charm during late winter/early spring as one of nature’s signals that warmer weather is finally on its way. Those who want to enjoy the natural beauty of pussy willows year round can do so by preserving them using the same method as one would use to dry flowers. Pussy willows can be successfully shown off alone in a decorative vase or nestled in a flower arrangement as a complement to the other flowers and foliage.

According to many sources, pussy willow bark contains salicin (aspirin is the synthetic form of salicylic acid, a precursor of salicin) and is sold as a herbal remedy in powdered form to treat arthritis, rheumatism, joint inflammation, backache, ovarian pain, headache and fever. It is also used as mouthwash for sore gums, a gargle for tonsillitis, a poultice for burns, wounds & insect bites and as an anaphrodisiac. Historically, willow bark was used by North American Indians and dates back as far a 400 BC, when Hippocrates advised patients to chew on the bark to reduce fever and inflammation. I believe I’ll skip chewing on my pussy willows and take an aspirin if I get a headache and hopefully, my cats won’t eat them for breakfast! But maybe I should take them with me when I go to Maine on vacation (Linda and I may need a herbal remedy for the after effects of celebrating too much).  And by the way, MSN wouldn't let me use "pussy willow" in the title.