Once again, the refrigerator at work smelled like something had died in it and had started to decompose. This time I completely disassembled the inside carefully scrubbing each drawer and shelf with industrial strength disinfectant cleaner followed by throwing out almost all the "must goes". When I had finished and let the inside completely air out, I decided this was my last time being the chump. My job description as a Medicare Billing Specialist did not include doing housework.

I found the unwelcomed culprit had been some shrimp gumbo that had been spilled and had started to mutate at the bottom under the vegetable crisper. The remnants were dark, sticky and rudely pungent. Everyone who walked by commented on how disgusting the refrigerator smelled, but no one offered to get their hands dirty by helping me clean it out. All I got were "better you than me" looks!

I grumbled silently promising myself this would be the last time I would clean up after a bunch of ungrateful slobs as I filled two trashcans with the contents of the refrigerator. Nothing pissed me off more than people bringing their lunches to work and letting the food sit there for months until it was unrecognizable. The only thing that came close to kind of disgust was each time a drug rep (no, not the local neighborhood pusher someone like the main character on Weeds) would order lunch for the office as a courtesy while they tried to dazzle the doctors with some new wonder drug. The remaining food would always sit on the table waiting for some dumbass to clean it up. Everyone, meet the dumbass who always went in after everyone was finished eating to put the leftovers away, to wash what utensils that were used and to make sure the conference room looked decent again.  Being anal is a hard job and someone has to do it!

This time was different. This time after scrubbing out the inside of the refrigerator and then putting it all back together (less the 20 bottles of salad dressing with expirations dates from 2005 and the assortment of bulging yogurt containers) I noticed that the aroma was still alive and well inside the refrigerator. How could that be?

This time I turned off the refrigerator, pulled it out away from the wall, took apart the freezer, and cleaned inside where the fan was housed and where the tubing acted as a drain to a pan underneath the refrigerator. I forced hot water laced with the strongest smelling cleaner I could find through the tubing until it ran clear into the pan. Since I had no baking soda or charcoals at work, I put a cup of fresh unused coffee grounds in both the freeze and in the refrigerator. Finally, the smell was gone! SUCCESS! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

A few weeks later I had brought a 12-pack of Minute Maid lemonade (Lite of course...my diabetes has been a real bitch lately) to have at work. Since becoming diabetic, I have discovered that the world caters to healthy people and most drink machines don't have a wide selection of sugar free drinks. When I opened the refrigerator to put my drinks inside, I was actually surprised to discover that it didn't smell raunchy and it actually was still fairly neat as well. I smiled like a proud parent discovering that their child is not brain dead after all and as I bent over to put my drinks on the bottom shelf, I cut the cheese. Now this cheese was a rare blend of aged Limburger meant to take a person's breath away and bring tears to their eyes. Yep, it was a truly special cheese and because it was delivered silently. This meant I could walk away and be fast at work as the stench dissipated. I wouldn't have to die a thousand deaths from being embarrassed for being a "cropduster".

Nope, I wasn't that lucky...I'm sure this situation falls under one of Murphy's Laws, but I'm not sure which one it is...perhaps "Mother Nature is a bitch"! Just as I started to walk away, the office manager approached the refrigerator. She opened the door before the silent, but deadly cheese invaded her nasal passages. Just as her facial expression started to change, I spoke up and said, "that damn smell is back again and I'm not cleaning out the refrigerator again" She quickly called her assistant to do a sniff test. Then several others were asked to sniff around and to see what they thought. It was confirmed...the smell was back. What does one do in that situation? Like any smart person, they pass it off as residual refrigerator stench and tell the truth about it months later at the appropriate time to get people to laugh so hard they almost wet themselves! Oh no! Not another mess for Karen to clean up!

Now that I've changed jobs (more money and better benefits), one question haunts my thoughts…will I be missed? Wait a minute...of course, I won't be missed. The same person who was my office manager is my new office manager. Some people are just gluttons for punishment and you know what? I really do feel loved!