Getting a true sense of who a person is out here in the blogosphere can be a difficult task. People like me who lay it all out there for everyone to scrutinize are probably easier to "read" and get to know.  I think most people see me as someone who plays fairly and doesn't feel the need to pretty anything up before throwing it out into the arena to get kicked around a few times.  I think people see that I'm comfortable whether I'm disclosing something highly personal about myself or if I'm just sharing an opinion.  But not everyone out here shares the same purpose or motivation for blogging as I have.  Some people have used this venue as a way to play head games or to be someone they aren't or can’t be in real life. I always laugh at people who take everything they read on a blog as the gospel truth and judge people by the blogging face they wear. While some of us come across as genuine and sincere, others are anything but real. After reading a few entries, it's easy to be sucked into our worlds.  You may even feel as if you know the person and at times, you can relate to them on many levels through the words they write.

I started blogging on MSN Spaces when Spaces was first created.  I've seen many people come and go...several will always remain with me and I feel almost in awe of them. Maybe some will remember the people I name and hopefully, the rest will appreciate the fact that these bloggers branded themselves into many people’s hearts and minds. 

The first that comes to mind is Crackers in Bed (Bill).  His style of telling it like it was gained him instant popularity on his G-rated blog. While the rest of us chose to use colorful metaphors and told tales that might embarrass a drunken sailor, Bill kept his blog clean and free of the drama the rest of us seemed to attract. I was truly saddened the day Bill closed his blog forever.  As his health worsened, he no longer had the drive to maintain his blog.  Coming to the decision he finally made was a difficult one for him and I often wonder if he knows how much he is truly missed.

Spaces was never quite the same the day Jnuts (a name I gave him because his screen name was too long [Jockfullofnuts] and with his new name I promised I'd make him as famous as JLo) went in search of greener pastures.  He still has a blog on Spaces, but he has been absent from it for quite some time.  I keep hoping he'll reappear and dazzle people like he used to when blogging was still new and Spaces was fun and full of intrigue.  His special way of spinning a tale would often leave the reader laughing so hard they might wet themselves or feeling some other emotion equally as intense as the laughter he often caused. Jnuts seductively enticed a full spectrum of emotions from each of his readers as he introduced them to his life in Arizona. He was one of those special people who have many God given talents...art, photography, writing, just to name a few and he spent his life sharing those talents with others.  He did it all and he did it like no other...well, maybe no other except his archenemy and greatest tormentor, Psychedelic Pariah.

Simply saying Psychedelic Pariah was an enigma was like stating the sky is blue. He was a mystery to most and created a persona people loved to hate.  The tales he would tell left people in breathless anticipation...always wanting more even when they felt disgusted with what they had read.  People hated the intricate mind games he played and his lack of needing anyone’s acceptance, yet they still came and read every word he wrote. As his tales grew wilder and more bizarre, people wondered where fantasy ended and reality began. Psychedelic Pariah could tear a person apart like no other and it was almost an honor to be roasted by him. Of course, he and I had our battles, but there was always an underlying unspoken respect we had for each other. Of course, it was nothing either one of us would admit, but it was there.  Unlike him, I didn't push people to the point of insanity. I didn't reel people in only to slap them in the face and throw them back out into the blogosphere dazed and confused to do over and over again. He was a master at the art of how to properly conduct an abusive relationship and he practiced it every chance he got out with people he felt worthy of his time and effort. Egomaniac? Sure! But every word he wrote was brilliant and I feel the void he left when he departed.

Another shining star was Hayden of Paradise Cove fame. He was the perfect example of personality plus talent. Everyone loved Hayden and wanted his attention...He tasted what fame Spaces could bring and then he vanished onto the oblivion we call life. Somewhere out there in the real world is a man I'm sure who dazzles people with the same type of appeal in which he dazzled his readers.

There were others...many others and each brings a smile to my face, but not one of these people is someone I actually knew. I only saw the person they wanted to show through their written words.  Was that the real person I saw? I suppose I can answer that by asking myself how real any of us is when we share something about ourselves on our blogs. How much of ourselves do we filter into the text we share with others?

Those of us who have chosen blogs with a theme or who do spoofs on some topic always intrigue me, but not as much as the reactions from their readers. Some people get sucked in and see each word as reality. They get lost and suddenly form an opinion and feel intense emotions without ever asking themselves what purpose does the blog have and is what I'm reading real.  Is this something being portrayed in a sarcastic manner or is it an honest depiction? Is this someone's attempt at writing fiction or am I reading the factual account of some event that actually happened?

It always amazes me how some people silently slither around Spaces attempting to discover where the morally corrupt are located. Their mission is to find blogs void of anything good and wholesome, then report the blog to MSN as offensive material that needs to be deleted. From there MSN steps in and investigates the complaint. What most people don’t realize about these snakes is that they lack the ability to objectively assess the value of any blog. Needless to say, snakes are one-dimensional creatures in dire need of a cobectomy (removal of the corn cob) which clouds their vision and distorts their judgment. 

I’ve often wondered what shows snakes watch on TV. What do they find humorous or entertaining…if anything? I’m almost certain they don't find programs like The Daily Show or Saturday Night Live as being funny. Comedians like Lewis Black and The Blue Collar Comedians are just sick, twisted, vulgar cynics and Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly are godlike and wise beyond their years. What a sense of power these snakes feel they have! Obviously, these slimy, slithering serpents haven't a clue as to what the First Amendment is all about and feel the overwhelming need to dictate morality and ethics to others wherever and whenever they can. I wonder if any of them know the meaning of the words “parody”, “spoof” or “satire”.  Perhaps, I should suggest they look up the definition in the dictionary…nah, I doubt that would help! Unfortunately, unlike television the choice isn't as simple as just turning the channel when we aren't satisfied with the content...here you have to watch what you write and who it might offend.

Instead of realizing that much of what is posted on anyone's blog is a matter of preference and nothing more, these fellow bloggers who are worse than Big Brother himself because they are one of us feel the need to dictate what we post! They purposely and repeatedly visit blogs they find offensive. Why? They feel it is their duty to thrust their strict moral code upon others because everyone here is in such need of moral reform. These self-righteous numbnuts go from blog to blog spewing their venom to instigate trouble and usually succeed. Instead of the "make love not war" or the "live and let live" philosophy that exists amongst most bloggers because we are an elite and ever-growing band of brothers and sisters who seem to realize blogging is much like real life where people have to co-exist, their sole purpose is to divide and conquer one blog at a time. Instead of seeing and appreciating that each blog is the product of each person's creativity and imagination, they quickly deem anything "different" as being amoral and offensive thus worthy of reporting and deletion. For all my fellow bloggers who blog on the fringe of what is deemed acceptable and all you who have had blogs deleted in the past...keep on blogging! Dare to be different! Dare to exercise your right to express yourself! Let your creativity live and breath in whatever form it wants to take. As long as it isn't killing people and maiming intellects, then blog on and stay strong!

An afterthought…were these snakes the same people who were tattletales when they were children?

Recently, I've been innocently challenged to think about my current relationship status. The million-dollar question seemed to be: How could Red Kitten spend Valentine's Day flowerless or "uncandied"? Was it just a rude oversight on someone's part or perhaps a harmless stroke of bad luck that the deliveries were never made? Or could the rumor be true? Is Red Kitten really just a cave-dwelling feline who only comes out periodically to hunt, to feed and to occasionally mate?

Over the years (ten to be exact) that I have been single, many people have inquired why I am alone.  Often times, the question almost seemed like the person was implying that being alone meant that I must be defective in some way. Yes, I have 10 toes, 1 head and 2 arms!  I hold down a full time job and am self-sufficient in every way. Okay, I have to confess it's hard to get to my age without having some baggage or defects, but I do try to keep my defects to a minimum and compact enough to fit in an overnight size bag inside of in one of those bulky steamer size captain’s trunks or huge cargo crate. 

I must admit I am abnormally normal so that binds me to living a life filled with doing my own thing whatever that thing may be. I am proud to say that there is no one I pine away for or look at as "the one that got away".  In fact, the truth is simple and fairly obvious as I examine my past. If any of my potential love interest slipped away empty-handed, they must have done so because they were oblivious to the fact of what a great catch they tossed back into the pond. [LOL] Because my heart is void of any emotional entanglements at this time, that might lead a person to wonder if free spirits ever miss being in love and what type of expectations they have for the future.

First, I would like to say that I learned long ago that being alone is MUCH better than being with the wrong person.  I would also like to say that I see no point in dating just for the sake of dating.  Quite frankly, it's been a long time since I've met anyone who I’d like to get to know better, but I suppose if I did meet someone who piqued my interest I would allow my curiosity to be more than superficially satisfied. I'm not opposed to emotional entanglements, I simply am not actively seeking one right now. Perhaps, what needs to happen is "it" needs to find me and convince me that life is too short to put things on hold for long periods of time. Afterall, when is the right time for love? It isn't something that can be planned for or done in an orderly way.  Nothing about falling in love is logical...at best, it's chaotic and quite overwhelmingly intense.

I suppose some people might consider me a picky person because I haven't met anyone who has tickled my fancy lately or because I do have certain preferences when it comes to which lures actually attract me.  When one goes fishing, it's crucial to use the proper bait if you expect to catch a fish.  To attract a Red Kitten fish, a skilled fisherman would use the following things as bait:

1.Wit/Intelligence

2.Creativity/Originality

3.Honesty/Openness

The mystery of my solo status is one that can be easily solved.  What really keeps me from throwing myself into the relationship arena? At this time in my life, I am the caregiver to my two elderly parents. My mother suffers from dementia, which has stripped away her desire to participate in the everyday activities of life.  She no longer sees the need to do anything, but sit in a chair all day and stare at the floor. My stepfather is a dialysis patient with several other serious health problems.  Neither can drive anymore and are completely dependent upon me for most of their basic needs. After working all day, it seems there is little time for anything else and my lovelife is at the bottom of the list. So if being single and not dating means I'm defective in some way then I must confess that yes, I am defective and will continue to stay defective until I feel I have the time and energy to devote myself to another human being besides my family.